Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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