Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
