I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize