Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
