I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
