I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize