OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
