it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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