There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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