Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
