I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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