He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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