nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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