i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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