why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
