I look better un-naked...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
