I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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