And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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