i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
