I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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