you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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