As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize