I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just found puke in my bra..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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