He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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