My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize