So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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