no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize