he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
