nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
