So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
