This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
