I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
