She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
