Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
