the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
They are going to name an STD after you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
