1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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