Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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