In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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