We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
