is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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