just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
