wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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