She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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