i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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