I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
