It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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