I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
