the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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