community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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