Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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