Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice