Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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  (716): fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck. http://tfl.nu/62ha
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.

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  (608): I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name. http://tfl.nu/o57y
  Replies (23) Good night (1623) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.

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  (917): I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever. http://tfl.nu/rwuq
  Replies (38) Good night (7060) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??

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  (517): last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet?? http://tfl.nu/wkxa
  Replies (39) Good night (1198) Bad night (5394) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?

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  (703): is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon? http://tfl.nu/fld0
  Replies (66) Good night (7063) Bad night (1551) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.

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  (612): and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me. http://tfl.nu/2uzy
  Replies (21) Good night (670) Bad night (6457) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

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  (618): Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers. http://tfl.nu/lte3
  Replies (7) Good night (3026) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds

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  (+61): He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds http://tfl.nu/yob4
  Replies (8) Good night (1070) Bad night (2300) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  On my way to the DMV to get arrested

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  (781): On my way to the DMV to get arrested http://tfl.nu/1450
  Replies (8) Good night (941) Bad night (1940) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.

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  (610): its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate. http://tfl.nu/xmo4
  Replies (5) Good night (1542) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

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  (+61): You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success. http://tfl.nu/j71q
  Replies (5) Good night (1449) Bad night (419)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....

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  (515): So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night? (1-515): Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something .... http://tfl.nu/8iom
  Replies (10) Good night (2067) Bad night (402)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.

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  (405): Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out. http://tfl.nu/dhlk
  Replies (9) Good night (1539) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.

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  (206): He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years. http://tfl.nu/o48r
  Replies (6) Good night (270) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.

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  (918): I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated. http://tfl.nu/rg2y
  Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (219)

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