Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.

Fav 2 1837 779
share tweet
(408): View more from California

I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.

Fav 13 920 3942
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(806): View more from Texas

he shaved USA in his pubs

Fav 20 2077 3323
share tweet
(509): View more from Washington

Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint

Fav 10 1593 5010
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

Fav 16 5206 1427
share tweet
(250): View more from British Columbia

I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower

Fav 14 6415 1503
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those

Fav 4 1934 1131
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."

Fav 2 972 446
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We both know that wasn't me

Fav 0 46 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT