currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Mom said you looked used
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's rum buckets o'clock
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out