Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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