seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you made out with another girl for some wings
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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