He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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