let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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