i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to make out with him forever
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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