put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
