What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
