we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
